Old.

Today I went to a nursing home to take care of Florence. She is Paula's (the women whose daughter I babysit/tutor) mother. Paula told me in advance that Florence is one tough cookie and probably wont talk to me much. I got to the nursing home, which is located between the Hudson and Broadway on the upper west side. There I met Maya's nanny, who showed me the ropes on how to get in and what to do when I care for Florence.

I stepped inside and immediately my nostrils were filled with pungent old people smell. I wanted to turn around because the aroma was so intense that I almost stopped breathing. There I met Leanette, a 50 some odd Indian woman with a pleasant demeanor. We signed in and went up to the 13th floor. We walked down a long smelly hallway resembling a hospital with a stark, cold unhomey appearance. At the end of one of the hallways was Florence's room. I introduced myself and smiled, I would have normally shook one's hand upon meeting them, but once arthritis kicks in, one worries about hurting crooked fingers with one's firm-gripped handshake.

I asked Florence where she would like to go today, she said "out of this world". Leanette told her god wasn't ready for her yet and that there was more for her to do here. Florence insisted she was ready. I helped put the feet/leg brace things onto the wheelchair and we were on our way out to the real world. Florence must have mentioned how much she hated the nursing home 3 times within my 5 minutes of being there.

We got outside and Florence lit up a cigarette. She asked me if I minded, I said no. Then we walked to the corner and Leanette left. This was my first time maneuvering a wheel chair, other than at the liberty science center as a kid. I almost flung her into the street a couple of times with those choppy curbs. I learned the trick is to go backwards.

We went to the market and picked up some things. At the end when we got on line, she asked me if I wanted anything. I said "no, but thank you". The woman in front of us on line kept staring at Florence's feet, I wanted to tell her "take a picture, it will last longer" . Yes, they are gross, but that woman was so obviously looking at them and thinking "wow, those are some nasty feet." I felt bad. Since the aisles for the checkout were so narrow, we had to maneuver through a farther away aisle and I met Flo on the other side.

After we left the store, Flo asked me if I would like to get lunch. I said OK and she asked if I wanted Japanese or something else (I don't recall). Obviously I chose Japanese. We went into this place that was right next door. It was a snazzy little joint. I told her about my obsession with Japanese food and she asked me what I recommended. We each got the 2 roll lunch special. She seemed to not know much about Japanese food, as she kept asking me what things were. She didn't know how to use chopsticks either.

I told her about my cat, my knitting class, my schooling, and my upbringing. I asked her about her previous career, family and where she grew up. We reign from similar areas. I found a great deal of common things between her and my late great grandmother.

She took a big bite of wasabi and started choking. I probably should have warned her about that, but I didn't because she was the one who offered going to a Japanese place. So I thought she knew.

She didn't eat much and offered me her left overs. I gladly accepted.

We continued to talk, and at one point of the conversation I wanted to start crying. It's so sad when people get old. She was saying how she used to live in a building with Asian people, and that they have so much respect for their elders.

We then went to duane reade to I could buy a pack of cigarettes. We smoked a fag together and talked some more. Then I strolled her back to her jail cell...i mean hospital...I mean nursing home. I helped her put away her groceries and told her it was a pleasure spending time with her. I didn't get paid yet. I believe Paula will do that the next time I see her.

Florence was NOT difficult, like Paula was making her out to be. She was sweet. She just wants some real communication and respect. What she really wants is someone to put her out of her misery.

I left and the second the door closed the tears started coming. No one should be allowed to get old.