Commencement

This morning was my graduation. Campus was decorated with hoards of friends and family and of course a barrage of light blue robes. It was around 80 degrees and very sunny. There I was, sitting among a mass of grad students, soon to be contributing members of society, recounting the past year and what I have gained, let go of, and learned.

I realized I got exactly what I wanted. I learned how to be more assertive, independent, harder working, more competent and how to take initiative in adverse situations. I learned that no one initially feels like they fit in at grad school. You have to work hard to feel like you belong. When you finally do feel like you belong, you realize that everyone in your field is completely different and together you make up the department, almost like a puzzle. I like to think I am an edge piece of the puzzle. Considering my studies and the subject area that I wish to pursue, I am off center, but I help to make the innards come together as a full picture of sociology.

While exiting the ceremony, I heard the beautiful vocal stylings of some of my colleagues, singing the Columbia anthem (Stand Up Columbia). I walked down and out of the college walk alone, while this music resonated in my mind. A couple of tears begged to be let out, and I allowed them. I felt happy and fulfilled and a tinge of sadness as I am closing a very industrious and successful, pedagogical chapter of my life.

Then I went to get lunch with the family at Cafe do Monde. It was delicious and I really enjoyed spending time with my family (as always). Being that I am a little girl at heart and still seek approval from my parents, the conversations I had with my father today really made me feel proud and reaffirmed the connectedness I feel with him. I am really happy that we have such a great relationship now.

My life right now is excellent. I have been getting everything that I wanted. I have no reason to be sad, aside from the fact that I have been packing on a few pounds and smoking too many ciggs. I will focus on these things this summer, and work toward changing them,

Everybody's Gonna Love Today

I LOVE my anthropology class. I love the fact that we have a project to go out and watch a movie. These are the kinds of projects I like to do.

I had another TFA meeting today. This time there was another applicant who was learning more about the program with me. He was really really qualified. After hearing his schpeel on why he is a suitable candidate, I felt much less qualified. Who knows if I will even get in. The whole thing is up in the air right now. I don't even know if I want to do it anymore.

After that, I went to a lecture by Bruno Latour. He is this really important social science writer. He did a free, public lecture on globalism. It was pretty interesting.

My cohort went out after and I got to have a nice long chat with Katherine. She is my saving grace in my department. She really gets me and understands what i am going through on so many levels.

After getting tipsy with the scholars, I went to BCC and got even more tipsy with mes amis. I felt really confident and thus I was starting conversations with random people. Life is just so much better when you're in a good mood and are able to express yourself.

Between dropping my terribly difficult class and picking up 2 classes for no grade/papers, imputing relevant info in my media/anthro class, and talking to Katherine, my outlook has changed drastically within the last few days. I have to say that life is looking a lot better through this lens.