A 22 Page Rough Draft.

Since my mind has been so clear, I have been working very well. I think it has something to do with not understanding the language here. Normally, when I overhear people's conversations it allows me to put them in a box, in one way or another and things get boring because of that, because you are able to assume what other people are thinking. I guess that's why reading minds would be a boring superpower because after a while you would be able to predict everything people were about to say. At first, I have to say, I was scared because I can barely read or understand the world around me, but now I have come to find peace in it.

Anyway, this fresh state of mind has allowed me to work on my article what I want to try to get published. I am writing about pharmaceutical direct to consumer ads on the internet. I am looking at the direct and indirect ways of marketing and comparing internet ads to the previous forms of television and print. I will also be looking at these advertisements with regards to gender, age and race and who is most commonly targeted. I will also be looking at the medicalization, or recent surge of made up illness, and the designer drugs that are allowing this pill-popping craze to take over America and New Zealand. So far I have a 22 pg rough draft. It is nowhere near done, but it is nice to know that I am on the path.

Never Good Enough.

I constantly get the feeling that I am not doing enough or that my reading or work or life potential isn't as good as every one else's. I am either on or I'm off. When I'm on I feel good and that my existence is awesome, I do a bunch of important and productive things in a day. When I am off, I feel like everyone else is on and life is meaningless and I spend the day (or most of the day) in bed. Maybe this feeling is a result of being human, in the human condition, or it's because I live in a city with so many overachievers, or maybe its the meds. Either I am on them or I am off them to produce these effects for the most part. Isn't it sad though, that I have reduced myself to someone who needs the meds in order to perform daily functions?

I don't know what to do or say about this paradoxical situation.

I need a vacation. I am going to Florida in January. I think I also want to take a trip up to Montreal in January as well. I went up there last January for 10 days and had a really good, really relaxing and fun time. Last January I remember finishing up sending out/filling out applications. What a stressful period that was.

I also really want to go to DSW shoe warehouse in Union square, Rockefeller center (After it gets all dolled up for the holidays), the MET and the museum of natural history.