N.Y.YOU.

Today I went to a conference at NYU about sociology/social science careers outside the academy. All in all, it was a really inspirational gathering. They had a few people on the panel with careers that I would gladly accept as a supplement to my original ideal career as a professor. I mean, I don't need to be a full time faculty member at a university to achieve my life goal. I can adjunct and get a federal, marketing, non-profit org, etc. job and actually make more money than I would teaching. The keynote speaker was actually the head of the economics dept. at Columbia. I picked up on a lot of interesting and useful advice at this conference. One thing that was especially ego-boosting was that I didn't feel as inferior as I usually feel at Columbia. I met people who were there from other disciplines at NYU and the New School; but I felt as if this particular conference was geared toward sociology students.

During the event, they had an impressive array of cakes and goodies, and afterward there were several wines as well as a cornucopia of hors devors and samiches to choose from. I arrived to the post-conference reception room, being one of the first ones there. I quickly asked where the bathroom was, and wandered around aimlessly, trying not to look at anyone directly in the eye for fear of blundering my speech and sounding like an idiot. I guess I am weird with confidence when I feel alone. Even though I just heard numerous great speeches on how I should be confident with my career trajectory and bust into the business world with a positive networking attitude, I find myself awkward with making conversation with academic strangers. When I am at a bar, it's a different story, because I am not expected to be witty and knowledgeable about theory and names of methods and thinkers.

Before I could count to 30, I was acknowledged by two strangers. Both of whom were cute and academic looking. They weren't ins where I could make conversation, so I opted out. But I guess it gave me more confidence to feel like I fit in a bit more. I then approached the woman who introduced the speakers and made the closing remarks at the conference. She was an older woman with a short gray buzz cut and kick-ass style. She was bubbly and personable and a wonderful speaker. I told her that I appreciated her inspirational words as we were the first two to approach the wine table. We then parted ways, I got some food and sat down.

Shortly after I sat down awkwardly, eating my sandwich alone, a good looking stranger approached my table and asked if he could join me. I quickly obliged him. We got to talking. He (Blair) goes to the New School for Poly Sci and is a PhD student. We sat talking and eating for 20 minutes or so. The conversation widened and we started talking about less professional topics. He's a Pisces and is from Seattle and also lives in Brooklyn.Two other students entered our social space and we all made pleasant conversation. The event went rather well.

Upon leaving, my new friend and I wound up going in the same direction. We kept talking and he said he was going to stop at a great book store in the area which is independently owned and donates part of its profits to aids research. I am all about supporting independent book stores, so I quickly decided to accompany him. At the book store, we perused a bit and then met back up for some more conversation. It was funny, of the two books he had decided to purchase, I had read one and partially read the other. Anyway, I was increasingly becoming more and more intrigued with this cool new person I just met.

He then mentioned going to another book store in the area to search for a book. I told him I would go under the circumstance that he would accompany me to Angels and Kings to pick up my credit card. He agreed. The second book store was pretty sweet. The bar had my credit card (yay!) We continued to walk and talk and I told him that I had to go to a bridal shower tomorrow and I had no idea what to get the girl. I proposed we go to a sex shop. Eventually, after wandering around the lower east side, we found our dingy hole-in-the-wall sex shop. What an interesting first night of hanging out with someone. We came full circle, both with walking around and going through interesting places; starting at a conference, going to book shops, a bar, a sex shop...you get what I mean.

I am really excited to hang out with him again. He seems to be precisely what I am looking for right now. I am not planning our future together in my mind, like some crazy person or anything (haha like what I did on valentines day). I just don't doubt that he will call and we will hang out again, and I am pretty sure I liked hanging out with him for a bunch of reasons.

I am a happy panda.

Evasion.

Today, after class I made an effort to get an exorbitant amount of work done. I got some done, with great voracity, but then I got distracted. My friend Zeb, who I actually know from summer sleep away camp imed me and actually happened to be in the same library I was in! He went to McGill in Montreal for undergrad, and the last time I saw him was when I was visiting Montreal last January. We caught up and sat for hours on our computers in silence, while doing work. It was nice to not be alone in my quest to complete scholastic missions.

Even though I sort of got stuff done, I still photographed myself while in the library. This blog is quickly becoming an attempt for me to raise my self esteem through self-photograph therapy.

p.s. Why the fuck is the New York 1 station interviewing Alec Baldwin about serious topics? This is why I hate the news. Kill yourself Rupert Murdoch.

I come home to LI tomorrow night!

Times Square Alliance.

Starting in May 42-47th and 33rd-35th streets will be blocked off on Broadway. This should be interesting. Thanks mayor Bloomberg. I hope it helps. I try not to hit up 42nd too often, but its nice that the mayor is making an effort to decrease walking traffic. I am pretty sure the Taxi drivers are gonna get screwed though.

http://www.ny1.com/content/top_stories/94590/mayor-proposes-banning-vehicles-from-times-square/Default.aspx

Dystopia

dys⋅to⋅pi⋅a   [dis-toh-pee-uh]
–noun
a society characterized by human misery, as squalor, oppression, disease, and overcrowding.

-This is my new favorite word.

I just heard today on the news that they are not letting cars drive through times square anymore from 41st to 49th or something, because the pedestrian traffic is unbearable. It's about time.

Unoriginal.

I've been feeling lately like everything I do has been done before. It is true, it has. I say things other people have said, I am not original at all. This idea is making me depressed, amongst other things.

1-My knee still hurts from my fall.
2-My credit card is still at the bar.
3-I think I have gingivitis and it hurts.
4-I keep eating too much when I know I have to be in a bathing suit soon (this is a vicious cycle)
5-I am breaking out
6-I am PMSing
7-It's cold
8-I am embarrassed about getting too drunk the other night
9-All I want to do is go shopping, but I can't cause I don't have a job or time for one.
10-I hate how dumb I feel in school a lot of the time.

Tada. Life kinda sucks right now.

Shine on Baby Shine on with your Bedroom Eyes.

I saw Mike Del Rio and Cass Dillon last night. Good times. I got way too drunk too quick and left my credit card at the bar (don't worry mom, I know where it is). Silly me. I think I was actually throwing up in the bathroom at the bar. I feel like a total disaster. I guess thats just what happens when you mix drinks. The boys played a great show though. Kim and I made it there just in time to see them start their set. It was perfect. I just wish I wasn't such a drunken idiot. Oh well. I guess I can justify it. I mean, I was looking forward to it for a while and...ok I guess I really can't. But I suppose were all entitled to some stupidity once in a while...right?

Bruce Likes A Trophy.

This you must watch.

Sometimes You Feel Like a Nut.

Sometimes you don't.

Last night's V-day party was fun. I ate way too many cookies, once again, but they were mostly burned off with the crazy dance party Kristen, Jason and I had. On our way home, I reeked havoc in the subway, tearing posters off walls and whatnot, just because. Carrie finally went home today. I love that girl, but its nice to have my bed to myself even if it is only for a night.

Pika's new haircut is ridiculous. She hates it. I can tell because she keeps hiding under Kristen's bed and running away from me. Doesn't she look adorable though?

Baby, Down on White Street.

Last night PJ, Nick and the gang had a party in their loft. I invited Kristen from LI and her, Carrie and I headed over at around 11. I couldn't believe how many people were there. The whole hallway was filled with random hipster strangers. It was really weird. After a little while, PJ Got pissed because rumor had it, the cops were on their way. The cops never showed up, but I helped them clean up the hallway regardless. PJ was pissed, Nick was drunk, and I kept running out to the hallway with Kristen so we didn't have to stand in that mosh pit of a party. There were 2 kegs and a few people I haven't seen in a while that I really enjoyed seeing. Two of the people I was most excited to see were Mike Del Rio and Cass Dillon. Two summers ago I spent a lot of time with these boys, both of whom make beautiful music. (Check out their myspaces with the links provided, Cass actually played a song with Billy Joel). Anyway, they're both playing a show on Monday at Highland Ballroom, I am just itching to go. I just need somebody to go with.

It was really great to see Kristen. This was the first time she came out to BK to visit me. I forget how vivacious and bubbly she is. She is definitely great company and always puts me in high spirits. Ryry was also there, on a lot of drugs. Last time I talked to him, he went to rehab and was clean for 6 months. I guess old habits die hard.

Carrie and I left kind of early and made a cute video which I am not at liberty to share. I fucking love my wifey. I made cookies and we ate all of them. I feel like a big fatty today. Oh I also painted my door frame red last night. It adds some zest to the apt I think.

Tonight roomie Kristen and her bff Anna are having a post valentines day party. I am stoked. I guess party season is beginning again, after a long and arduous January. Lets see how I fare out with school work. Luckily, I was able to drop one of my classes because my anthropology prof let me take my independent study for 4 credits instead of 3. That should lighten my work load considerably. Yay! I love Brooklyn!

(p.s. Sorry to overwhelm you with pictures of myself and Carrie. I am not that vain, these are just silly and fun, so I can't help myself.)

Jenga and Crafts.

Last night was spent playing Jenga at Carrie's. I haven't played in a while. Our tower got really high.

Thursdays are the best days. After c;lass I went to the new Buffalo Exchange in the city and got some new diggs. All the girls in Brooklyn wear big ugly glasses and I thought I was high time for me to get some too. I want to put lenses in these.

After my trip to the store, I was walking and fell while checking my voice mails! I got dirty and skinned my knee and I am pretty sure that the people crossing the opposing street were laughing at me.

When I got home the crew wanted to make crafts...so now we're sitting around the apt making things. Woohoo.

I found a magazine with cut out mustaches. Don't we look hot?

New Glasses. YAY!

Some Like It Hot.

Yesterday was spent nursing my hang over with chinese food and movies. Carrie brought over 'Some Like It Hot' and later on Kim came over. We went to the 'Lazy Catfish' for free beers. We met up with Evan and the boys from down the block. PJ drank my last beer before the free beers ended and then tried to ditch, I chased after him and fell on my ass. What a jerk.

At around 11, we made a trek into the city to a bar by Evan's apt, then we got really greasy food at papaya dog and hung out at Evan's. Kim and Evan hit it off like I knew they would. I am pretty stoked. I am such a sweet matchmaker.

I really don't feel like going to school today. I need to not drink on school nights.

Also, I really like dorky, oversized reading glasses. I may need to invest in some.

3 Books This Week.

I have to read 3 books this week. Looks like I need to start being a shut in.

Taiwan.

Ok, so since I have been talking to Cres on video chat, I have decided that this coming fall, instead of going to Europe, I would like to go to Asia. I could go for like a month, and Cres would take me around and maybe we could hit up Japan, Hong Kong, the Phillipines or Thailand. That would be a much better vacation because it would be completely different than anywhere I have been before. Now would be the best time to go because Cres is there. I am really excited! That would be amazing!

Fashion Week.

Last night I went to a fashion week party for 'Oak'. They had open bar for a couple of hours. There was a fog machine that emitted peanut butter fumes, a heart shaped disco ball, and loud techno music. We stayed for the free drinks and then went to BCC and then home.

When I got home jason had vicky over and she had some girl on her lap. This girl was a huge bitch and tried to tell me how to boil water in my own home. She thought she was so hot and so fly. Jason and I were texting each other saying how badly we wanted her to leave while she was sitting there. UG.

Afterwards, Jason and I talked to Cresensio on video chat. I can't believe Taiwan has a 13 hour time difference. Oh, Sunday night we took these videos with face masks on ambien. Enjoy!

Living the Life of a Perpetual Wanderer?

Sometimes I question if my urge to travel so much is rooted in a disdain for reality. True, I have been trying to put off real responsibilities for as long as I have been alive. Going to school for as long as possible, not contributing anything real to society except on the micro aspect of the nuclear family. I am beginning to ask myself, if I do choose to travel for a year, what would be gained from it in the end? Of course, I would have a good time and see things I have never seen before, which is necessary to sustain a positive psychological balance.

"This restlessness and thirst for adventure is, for the most part, barren and illusory, because it is uncreative. We are seeking to escape from a dull world instead of turning back upon it to transform it." (Park et al., The City, 1984)

What about if I make my travels creative? What if I promise myself to read the lengthy book list in my mind, and write a short story or a novel during my travels? I have a suspicion that I cannot keep that promise to myself. I do the best when I am pushed. This is why I have not been able to hold down a job for a considerable period of time. Teachers push me. If I am not pushed, I get caught up in leisure. There are just so many distractions.

If I go abroad, will I be soul seeking or reality escaping? Maybe a bit of both. But I think I still must go to find out.

I Met My Future Husband (JK...Maybe)

After a lovely day, Bruce drove me back to BK and we got some dinner. We laughed a lot. I am really glad we're still friends. Some people have a hard time remaining friends with the ex's or having a non-malicious relationship with them. I find it easy to maintain a platonic relationship with ex's because you gotta be friends first and foremost, so why should that go once you've ventured other arenas of relationshipness?

After a silly, laughter-filled couple of hours with Bruce, he dropped me off at Carrie's, where her and Rose hung pre-gaming before going to our regular couple of neighborhood bars. Sweet ups was adorable decorated with rose petals everywhere. I was in a silly mood, so I was playing with them, throwing them at people, putting them in my eyes, up my nose, taking pictures with them in my hair, etc. Later on, Erik came with construction paper and markers and we all made each other valentines!

After that we went to BCC and Carrie, Rose and I sat at a table and talked about love related things. Carrie said it was typical that us three angsty girls were confessing our hatred for valentines day in such a fashion. I thought it suitable to complain about the opposite sex on such an occasion. Why not give into the silly banter, even though I , myself was in a darling mood. Carrie told us a story about how her grandma met her grandpa. She was in church and a few rows in front of her was a tall, handsome man and even before he turned around so she could see his face, she said, 'this is the man I'm going to marry'. Then he turned around and she was like 'he looks even better from the front'. After that heart-warming story, Carrie saw a cute boy at the bar and she traded seats with me so she could stalk him with her eyes better. Then she said 'that is the man I'm going to marry'. I laughed and picked out a boy sitting in the booth behind me who I thought was cute, and said 'fine! If you are going to marry him, then I am going to marry that guy!'.

Behind us sat a table full of 6 guys, most of whom were pretty attractive. I used to be the kind of girl who would walk up to a group of guys, introduce myself and talk to them about the weather, but for reasons known to me (its cold and I'm busy and grumpy), I haven't been so fearless lately. Carrie complained that she 'lost her game' and that she hasn't gotten any in 6 months. She was bumming out. I tried to pep talk her, but it didn't go very far.

Later on, Erik came and it turned out he knew the guys seated at the table behind us. I went up to him and started dancing and then he introduced me. I started talking to them, and he walked away. Here I was, almost shaking because I haven't entertained random strangers with my winning personality in a while. I found out most of them were from Arkansas, one was from Tennessee and another from New Orleans. Eventually, I got to talking to 'my future husband'. The conversation was quite unusual, about carnivores, vampires and old ladies. After a few minutes, I went back to my friends to keep him wanting more.

After a few minutes, Carrie said she overheard him talking about social work. I was immediately intrigued because that study flows within the vein of sociology. Could we possibly have something in common? Could he be more than a pretty face? Later on, I found myself back at the boys table, where 2 of the Arkansas boys had left, so Carrie and I had room to make moves. I started another conversation with him, and eventually asked what he did. Turns out he is a student at The New School in the school of social research. I almost applied for this! The only reason why I didn't was because I missed the cut off. I couldn't believe my ears. Usually when I meet people in Brooklyn, they are artists or musicians, and NEVER a fellow sociologist. But wait, there's more. I asked him what his concentration was in the field, he said advertisements. HELLO!!? That is a large part of my concentration! In fact, I am writing a paper about advertisements and their impact on consumers this very semester! I was overjoyed, elated, tickled pink, in a state of shock, severely paralyzed, going to throw up, etc. I proceeded to ask him, more questions about the kind of work he does, and proceeded to grow more and more amazed and attracted.

After about 2 minutes, we barely got to talking and his friends wanted to leave. He took my e-mail and said he would contact me. Even if we just talked about school related things, I would be overjoyed. Everyone in the Columbia soc dept is focused on a different area of sociology. I haven't been able to bounce ideas off of someone who is interested in the same aspects of media/sociology. You don't understand how rare I find this sincerely amazing acquaintance to be. I really just couldn't believe my eyes and ears were coming up with this sort of ideal person.

With my luck, he wont e-mail, he has a girlfriend, and he's moving to Australia tomorrow. It's cool. At least he put me in an amazing mood for the rest of the night.

Valentines

Last night I went to my dads for dinner and movies. We ate chinese and watched 'Vicky Christina Barcelona and 'Slumdog Millionaire'. They were both really good. I kept seeing places I have been in Barcelona and it really made me want to go back. I keep fantasizing about my upcoming travels, putting all my eggs in one basket, I suppose.

Today we went to Martha Clara vineyard and tasted some wines. Then we saw some donkeys, llamas and alpacas! I decided I want to donkey for christmas.

I gotta say (and not only because I know you're reading this) that I am pretty lucky to have such awesome parents/step parent(s). I have met a lot of families in my day, and have seen a lot of different parent/child dynamics. I gotta say that I think I am the luckiest. Yes, it was hard growing up and being a badass (or thinking that I was a badass) but now that I see eye to eye with my parents I am thankful that they are as cool as they are and that we can learn and grow from each other.

So yeah, I didn't have a valentine this year. But maybe this valentines day was more than lust and dumb cards and more about drinking wine and spending time with family.

Mom's Birthday!

Yesterday was Boppy's birthday. We got some dinner with Kate and then Boppy and I went to Shrek the Musical. It was really cute. It was a lot like the movie, a bit sillier though, hence, musical. Pinocchio was the best part. He reminded us of Stewart from SNL. After the show Ma and I came back to my place and hung with the roomies.

This morning I put up new window treatments and a new book shelf! My room looks really classy now...well sorta...minus the cat hair all over everything.

Mental Institution.

Did somebody let the crazies out today? Cause I think I ran into a few of them on my way home. This one girl in particular was wearing a pink furry coat, which didn't at all go with her drab business attire, and had a mini tape player or something which she was holding up to her ear, as if she was having a personal conversation with it, huddled in her seat on the subway. A Linkin Park song blasted from its speaker and she sang along with meaningful fervor. I kept trying to read my book, but I could not look away from this girl. Other than that, people were speaking in tongues to themselves, you know, the usual.

-A side note. Class was awesome today. It usually is on Thursdays, but today especially. We started talking about the trajectory of the public sphere according to Habermas. I had never read him before, but he is a big social thinker who designed theories on the transformation of the public sphere dating back to feudalism. I got to talk about my passion in life, which is the pacification of the masses through ideological restraints which are put out in a diverse array mass media forms. I feel smart in this class. This is what I should have been taking classes in all along. Why is it that only one of my classes pinpoints my desire to slander the media?

-Another side note: I am reading Charles Dickens Hard Times. I am only 35 pages in and I already hate it. The title explains it all. I understand the concept, but why must Dickens go on and on about describing dumb things that don't matter? I feel like I am reading the phantom tollbooth. This book needs to make up its mind if it wishes to be a whimsical, childlike fantasy or to use the language of a literary scholar including a panoply of words I have never seen or heard of, even in my advanced academic stage. What the hell!

Eurotrip.

So I think I want to bum around Europe for a few months after I graduate. What better time than now to see the world when I have barely any attachments tying me down. I think I know someone who would watch Pika. I know people who I believe would host me in Ireland, Germany and Norway. If I am lucky, one of them will go to Amsterdam with me. Also, i REALLY want to go to France while i am over there. I thought I knew someone over there, but it turns out he dropped off the face of the planet. Maybe I could see if they have some sort of student deal where you emerge yourself in the language for a month.

I know this whole dream, self-discovery, soul-seeking would take thousands of dollars, but I figure, everyone else is in some sort of debt and they're doing OK. This would be something I would remember for the rest of my life, and something that I may never be able to do again. I have the connections, time and I could have the money, why not? I know this sounds a lot like what I did last summer, but it is different. As I would be gone longer and would be country hopping solo, for the most part. Yeah, I know. Sounds a bit scary. But if and when I get the details ironed out, it just might work.

Funnies

Haha. Funny. I almost pooped my pants.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/1435/saturday-night-live-snl-digital-short-roy-rules

Don't Do Crack!

Last night, Kristin, Jason and I were watching videos of Whitney Houston from Kazakhstan. Poor Whitney and her crack addiction. I know a lot of celebs go through break downs and bounce back, but I don't think there will be a bouncing back for her. Look at how she trips over her dress and how her wig is falling off. Poor Whitney! Don't Do Crack!

Postponement and Ice Cream

I woke up this morning and decided to do whatever it took to postpone my TFA interview. The reasons being...

1) I was up half the night coughing. I heard this day-long interview is no joke. I don't think that my 3 hours of drugged up sleep would suffice.

2) I am not sure if I still want to do it. This month long wait period will help me decide.

I sent admissions an e-mail. It is past the cut off for cancellation of interview. However, my letter explains my dilemma. I am sure that they would not want me to come there and get everyone else sick.

I am sure I made the right decision. Especially since I have a 5 page paper due on Thursday that I haven't even started.

Today is my friend Kristin's (from school) birthday. Her 'partner' invited me to a party tonight at a bar in Brooklyn. I really want to go, but I don't know if I should, considering I am sort of playing hookie.

Decisions decisions.

Oh. I had a prophetic dream last night. I dreamt I was with a bunch of people at an ice cream shop. I asked for an ice cream, and the lady gave me this HUGE, multi-flavored, giant-scooped, extra-toppings sundae. I didn't want a huge sundae, I just wanted what everyone else was having. I got really angry, and didn't want to pay for this monstrous ice cream cake, so I stomped out of the store and started crying. It was also raining out, in my dream, so that didn't help. Eventually, I got my normal amount of ice cream and someone else had paid for the ice cream mountain, that was intended for me.

I can interpret this in two ways. But I believe the way that I felt in my dream, is the way that it was truly meant. The ice cream signified work-related things, the amount of effort, time, rewards, and whatnot. I saw myself getting dealt this huge sundae that I was not ready or willing to eat. This signifies TFA, the work is like a huge sundae. A little bit of it would be cool, but to have that whole pile is too much for my stomach, at least right now. If everyone else were getting big sundaes then I would probably want one too. But as for right now, I will stick with the single scoop please. I can eat more ice cream later on in life.

Manic.

Ok. So being sick really sucks and I think it effects my brain in a negative way.

Yesterday I went to Moma with my anthro group and Kim met up. We saw this old movie by Rachel Carson about the sea. Afterward, Kim and I searched for a place to get Italian, but somehow couldn't find anything so we just went to Ruby Tuesdays. We split a bottle of wine and caught up. I love that bitch.

I have my TFA interview tomorrow. I am really scared. I am so sick it hurts. I went to Duane Reade today and got a lot of meds. I am trying to pump my body full of vitamin C because I really need to get better.

It sucks that I have to spend my one free day at an interview. I have SO much shit to read and not enough time to read it.

UGH. AND I am supposed to practice my 5 minute teaching sample in front of people 5 times so I get used to it. I am SO not prepared. I will do the best I can, but I have a feeling it will not be good enough. In which case, the decision will be made for me, and I won't have to worry about making it myself.

Wish me luck...or hope that it goes terribly. Either way its up to fate to decide.

All the Single Ladies.

Wow. This reminds me of that electronic dancing baby.

Pride and Prejudice.

I have to have a good understanding of it by Monday. I must watch it tonight somehow.

I went to Jodettes and Barbies today. Two of my friends apartments which are close enough to my own that I don't visit enough. I like randomly showing up at people's apartments. I would like it if people did that to me more often.

I still feel sick. I feel like its post-nasal-drip. I always get it with the change of seasons. It blows though, right now because I actually want to go out, but I can't because I keep coughing. I think I OD'd on cough syrup.

I must start working on my 5 minute mini lesson for teach for America. I think I am going to teach the difference between there, they're and their and were, where and wear. That should take all of 5 minutes right? I don't know how I am going to do this or if I should even choose this to teach. I just can't think of anything else.

Ugh. I am pretty sure I don't even want to do TFA anymore. But I feel like if I don't, I am going to have to move back home because I will be jobless for a year. There are like no job opportunities right now. I mean, I guess it would be easier to find a job in the city, but its also SO much more competitive. I can't start filling out my application for UC Berkeley until December, so I guess I have a year to waste. Maybe I will see if there are any internships. I need to build up my resume.

Someone told me today that I think too much. I think they must be right. But it's better than thinking too little...right?

Everybody's Gonna Love Today

I LOVE my anthropology class. I love the fact that we have a project to go out and watch a movie. These are the kinds of projects I like to do.

I had another TFA meeting today. This time there was another applicant who was learning more about the program with me. He was really really qualified. After hearing his schpeel on why he is a suitable candidate, I felt much less qualified. Who knows if I will even get in. The whole thing is up in the air right now. I don't even know if I want to do it anymore.

After that, I went to a lecture by Bruno Latour. He is this really important social science writer. He did a free, public lecture on globalism. It was pretty interesting.

My cohort went out after and I got to have a nice long chat with Katherine. She is my saving grace in my department. She really gets me and understands what i am going through on so many levels.

After getting tipsy with the scholars, I went to BCC and got even more tipsy with mes amis. I felt really confident and thus I was starting conversations with random people. Life is just so much better when you're in a good mood and are able to express yourself.

Between dropping my terribly difficult class and picking up 2 classes for no grade/papers, imputing relevant info in my media/anthro class, and talking to Katherine, my outlook has changed drastically within the last few days. I have to say that life is looking a lot better through this lens.

I Don't Understand Newspeak.

I dropped my scary 'only PhD students' class. I realized it was something I needed to do today when I didn't understand a word of the arguments going on in class. Yay! No more early mornings! Good riddance waking up at 7AM!

I picked up 2 classes to make up for that one. One about immigration and another about women's increasing status in the world. WOOT WOOT. So glad everything worked out.

Cresensio is Back

Last night Cres came back to NY. I am SOO happy he is here, but really sad that he will be leaving on
Thursday for Taiwan. We went out last night. I drank and smoked more than I should have and now I feel like I have been gargling with razor blades. Needless to say, I am back on the No Smoking wagon. Starting today.

This morning I woke up and made cinnamon buns! They were really gooey and delicious.

I had to start a conversation in one of my classes today about Homer and the Iliad and the Odyssey. It went OK. I saw some people nodding at what I was saying, which was a good sign. I know I could have done better though. I am really glad the worst part of my week is over. I have already competed all my work for this week. I just have to go to class.

I have a HUGE headache. We're supposed to do kareoke tonight. Great, I have no voice.

Oh. I wrote a new song yesterday. This is a rough edit. It's kid of depressing. I know the lyrics are inaudible so here they are.(on second thought, blogger wouldnt let me upload my recording, so here are the lyrics and only the lyrics.)

History is simple, Its the future thats hard
Someone snaps a picture and immediately its art
What happened to the days when we were all young and stupid?
Smoking cares away
Why did we do this?

That's all you get
A photograph is what's left
Of when you tried and you smiled and pretended you liked it
But who knows how you really felt?
Cause you lied and you liked it.

So goodbye to the times that you thought you knew
And goodbye to the you that you thought was you
Goodbye to your youth

Who is to say the future's any brighter?
Getting older every day and the baggage ain't getting any lighter
The bills need to get paid and you gotta turn into a fighter
To fend for your safety, a hair-puller and a biter.

(I know, I know, my depressing sardonic approach to the world is getting old.)

Thanks Derek!