New Years Post.

Here is what I've learned/achieved this year.

I actually am smart enough for Columbia.

I got a cat.

I feel pretty comfortable in my own skin.

The value of money. (more than I previously understood)

I CAN live alone.

Home truly is where the heart is.

Don't trust anybody!

A lot of people are irresponsible.

Don't meet guys on craigslist.

Back up ALL files.

I stopped biting my nails.

Academia is overrated.

Take things one step at a time.

Nothing is as bad as it seems.

Always have back up candles. (just in case the irresponsiblelandlord forgets to pay the bill)

When you're in a bind, think about a year from now and if it will still matter; if the answer is no, the problem can't be THAT bad.

Movies and Food.

I feel like all I have been doing lately is watching movies and eating with friends over. Not that I have a problem with it, I just feel like I am being unproductive. This morning I woke up with intentions of going to the gym. I went all the way up to columbia and found out the gym was closed. I bought like a 10 lb bag of cat food, and now I am watching 'Party Monster', eating soup and whatnot. Soon the festivities will begin. I still have no idea what to do tonight. Happy new year to all!

Love Today.

Jason and I are silly.



Last night we went to Carries and went to sweet ups and BCC, the usual neighborhood bars; and then we watched house bunny. We slept over and Kristen came back to the apt today. Colleen came to get the rest of her stuff from the apt and we cleaned out the fridge and stuff. Now Carrie, Jason and I are vegging out, watching movies. I am so excited to lounge around and get absolutely nothing done. Hooray for silk pajama pants!

Thai Tai For Good Eatin.

Today my dad, stepmom and step sis came into Brooklyn to visit. It made me really happy that they finally made it out, but sad that we didn't get to go up to Columbia because of stinky rush hour traffic. I took them into Williamsburg and we got yummy Thai food (my second day in a row at the same place). I think I may be slightly obsessed with coconut and curry induced foods. My dad and I looked at some books on the streets. I really like talking books with my dad. He was always reading when I was growing up, I guess this had a really big impact on me because now I pretty much read for a living. He made me the Twilight Soundtrack and some 8x10's of the movie too. Supercool!

After I got home from a delicious lunch, Jason and I decided to go to Target to pick up some sticks of wood for the apt. It was a silly trek on the subway into the city and back out to BK to get there and they didn't even have what I wanted. However, I did get an awesome new hooded flannel and a corduroy vest. I saw a trashy mag with the beloved lead of my obsession, Twilight, on the cover, so I had to have it. Turns out he is only 22 (his birthday is May 13, which makes him a Taurus) and is a total party animal. I am hoping I will run into him at some trendy NYC bar and we'll hit it off and maybe later on I will coax him into biting my neck, just for kicks. A girl can dream, cant she? OOH also, turns out he has a thing for taken girls. He had a major crush on his costar (Kristen Stewart) during the making of the film, who was dating someone else. Also, he was found macking it with Camilla Belle, who is none other than Joe Jonas's GF! I have a crush on Joe Jonas as well. Sooo basically, I wish I was Camilla Belle or Bella Swan...or something.

After a time consuming and excruciatingly tiring trip to Target, Jason and I were in silly giggly mode and decided to take naps. The rest of the evenings plans include going to Carrie's and watching movies on the couch. I live a tough life I know.

I have been looking into some non-profit organizations that I can maybe get a part time job working for. I figure that may be my best outlet because I will feel like I am actually making a difference to people who matter. I can't stick with a job normally because I find retailing salesperson positions to be too superficial and materialistic, waitressing too tiring and drug induced, and desk jobs too tedious and boring. I definitely don't want to be canvassing out on the streets, though. I would like to do something for the environment or help organize events for human rights or help the general public acknowledge their harmful habits to humankind, the earth or themselves that can be alleviated through a change of their course of daily activities.

House Warming.

Yesterday I had the sudden urge to go shopping. Strange, I know. I dragged Jason to Buffalo Exchange and I got some new digs. I got this awesome, bright orangey red leather jacket for 17.50. How could I go wrong?

After running a few more errands, we met up with Bruce for Thai food. There's this one street in Williamsburg where literally half the block is only asian inspired cuisine. It's like my little piece of heaven.

After filling our bellies, we went grocery and booze shopping. I decided I wanted to make sushi. After pretending I had my own cooking show, for the boys entertainment, I burnt the rice and dropped the majority of the ingredients on the floor. I started rolling sushi with the non-burnt/dirty ingredients. There were a few road bumps. Eventually, Bruce and Jason helped roll some rolls. It was a fun, lo-carb, sushi making experience.

Later on, Carrie came over, followed by Barbie and 2 friends (Ben and Guy), followed by one of Jason's friends. We all played Outburst. The game was 4 on 4 and it was pretty fun. Very loud, but silly and entertaining.

After that, we went to Sweet Ups and had a beer. Next was home and bed.

Everybody Do The Dodo.

On the new Streets CD, there is a song about the Dodo bird. Basically, it is about how its not the earth that is in trouble, its the people who live on it. It is inspirational in a green and humane sort of way.

Since the singer of the streets has a sweet British accent, I like to pretend that he's saying Doodoo instead of Dodo.



Here are some Facts about that poor little Dodo bird.

-The were only natives to one island of the Indian Ocean, called Mauritius.

-They were about 3 feet tall.

-They have been extinct from the mid-to-late 17th century.

-Their extinction was directly attributable to human activity.

-The dodo had no natural predators, therefore it was fearless of humans.

Home At Last.

Today Jason Moved in. I cleaned out the entire living room and re situated all of the furniture. It is starting to take form and be less of a mess, I had a great day with Jason. We shared music that we wrote. It was really nice. I feel really at peace here. I talked to Kristen today and she seemed really happy that things were going so smoothly at the home front.

I found out today that Colleen (the girl whose room Jason just moved into) got into a really bad car accident over the holidays. She could have died. Things like this make you realize how fragile life is.

I am having a house warming party tomorrow night. Woohoo!

Last night was fun too. I hung out at Sara's in Oyster Bay. We played drinking games with some brah dudes. It reminded me of how silly it is to hang out with manly men who guzzle beers and watch sports on TV. So not my scene. It made me really appreciate my life and my friends more. It was really good to see Sara, Kristen and Marcella.

I really love it here. I think Pikachu does too.I say that because shes giving me massive amounts of eskimo kisses as I am writing this.

Supermassive Black Hole

I can't stop listening to this song. I have listened to it for a while but now the whole meaning has changed because of the baseball game and lightning in Twilight. Wow. I really am obsessed.



I know it's low quality, but you get the point.

So fucking cool.

Everyone keep your fingers crossed. Today is the day I find out if I am a fool.

Christmas of the Future.

All in all, I had a great christmas. This morning I woke up a bit sad because the whole cozy morning christmas celebration didn't really happen, but its OK because I got to play that part on christmas eve.

I am overtly obsessed with Twilight, as you've probably read. The book just started veering off in a different direction from the movie and I am excited to see where else the plot line will go.

After a lovely christmas celebration at my dad's I went to carries and ate some red velvet cake. After that, we went to visit some horses to put blankets on them. This one horse Gypsy kept licking me. It was really cute. Carrie kept trying to drag me to hang out with people after that, but I am exhausted and decided it would be a better idea to come home, read and play with my new computer. You can't blame me right?

It was REALLY great to see Ashley and Leah today. I don't get to see Ash that often now that she lives in Cali and I feel like we were just starting to seriously bond when she was living in BK and I was visiting people in BK a lot. I really hope she comes out one night this week and sees my hood. Leah has the most adorable face in the entire world. She's a little giggly, smiley, adorable little baby who smiles with her entire face. I wish I had a pic. Echem Dad, help me out with that?

Also, I was told I have to mention Christmas presents from next year. Presents from the future, if you will, that don't fall down the balcony. Oh dear. I drank a lot today. We be bottle poppin.

Merry Macbook!

I am posting this from my very own, new MACBOOK! I LOVE it.
WOOHOO.


There's one more thing that will officially make my Christmas more merry. It won't actually be determined until after Christmas, however. The subtenant I am leasing my old Harlem apt to was having trouble with the frozen lock, and called the landlord. She had no idea and someone in the building said that its been happening a lot lately. I had no problem with the door. I think maybe this guy is just an idiot. I just really hope this deal goes through, because I will be out of some hefty chunk of change if it doesn't and I will have to search for a new tenant.

Ok, so I have become really obsessed with Twilight. I saw the movie and then immediately after I had to go get the book. The acting in the movie was terrible but the story was intense and amazing. I want to be Bella Swan. Edward Cullen is a Fox. I am really happy there are 4 parts to the story. That means there should be more movies. YAY.

I must go shower. I think I may go to the movies again today to see it again. mmmm.

Moving and Movies.

Yesterday, I finally started moving into the new apt in BK. I packed up the car all by myself in the snow, hauled ass to Brooklyn and Cresensio hadn't even started putting together his stuff to move. So I offered to help clean some nooks and crannies while he worked on the big stuff. He bought me a really amazing, caloric lunch and we pigged out. After an appropriate amount of cleaning/organizing was done, we went to the storage unit.

Next, Jason came over and Kristen came home and they got along famously. I am pretty stoked Jason is going to move in on the first. Jason and I took another trip to empty out my apt and play with Pika. Then we got back to the apt and organized more and Carrie came over. We took really funny pictures on Cres's computer.

Next we took ambien and watched a movie about Charlie, Morty, Suzie/Veronica and Sabrina. JC came on the scene and we wished him a happy birthday. Oh the wonders of friends and smbien.

I am really excited about living here. I love my friends and I am really happy with my current state.

Sno Fo Sho.

I keep trying to move my stuff out of my old apartment and into my new apartment and I keep running into obstacles. I need to go feed my cat. This snow is horrendous. I need to get a few things at IKEA. Basically, I am flipping out and I can't do anything because of this darn snow. Fo. Sho.
Oh plus my phone is dead at my charger is at my apartment. Whoops!

It is beautiful though.

DONE!

I just finished my last assignment of the semester. It killed me. I had no idea what I was doing and I am hoping for partial credit. I calculated my score and even if i get a zero on the final and 100% class participation I will wind up with a 64.6 %. That is pretty reassuring, because I know I can't possibly get a zero because I actually did work.

I should be a lot more relieved than I am. I think I am getting sick. That sucks. Oh well. I am off to the gym. ttfn.

The End of an Era.

I am overwhelmed. Yes. It's true. I keep telling myself I can manage this. I know I can get everything done. This stats assignment is killer. I am probably not doing any of it right. It is a pass/fail class so I should be OK. I am almost done with my rewrite. Should be finished with everything tomorrow. Then I start moving.

I am really excited to move. I was at my new place last night, getting an idea of what to bring and what not to bring. Luckily, the apartment is pretty well seasoned with necessities. Pika is going to be really excited that there are a lot of windows for her to look out of and new playmates. My ass will get a great workout, walking up and down to the 5th floor all the time. I really like my new roomie Kristen and its looking as if Jason may be moving in after Colleen moves out. I am keeping my fingers crossed. I just keep having to tell myself that everything is going to work out.

I am really sad that Cresensio is leaving. It feels like just yesterday I lost Nick. Now I am losing another best friend. I know he will be back in a year, but so much can happen in a year and who knows where I will be moving to at that point.

This is most certainly the end of an era. I am excited for new years to confirm that. I want to be stronger, smarter and better than this year. This year wasn't bad, it was actually a lot of fun. CRAZY fun. I feel like I have learned so much in such a brief period that I can't help but pat myself on the back sometimes. So bring it on 2009. Keep those punches rolling.

Indefinite Hiatus.

My computer crashed. i am flipping out. Worst part is that none of my files are retrievable. I lost a term paper and am sitting in the computer lab at the moment trying to rewrite it. Luckily my teacher isn't a complete asshole.

I found out I am moving to Brooklyn on the 22nd. So soon, I know.

I finished 'the shack'. It was really good. I recommend it to anyone and everyone.

I really wish I backed up my files. i guess I learned an important lesson...again.

UGH.

Self.

Ok, so last night I decided to be a total schlub. It was rainy and I decided to watch entourage and go out and buy some girly mags and seltzer. I never really liked seltzer, and now all the sudden it's my favorite thing to drink.

So I bought a Self magazine for the first time in a long time, and realized that I really like it. It has a lot of really good, real advice. It isn't like the trashy crap they feed teenagers. It has real statistical information about populations of people, medical info, and information about volunteering. It even has a section with tips on how to not over shop or over spend. Most other mags urge you to buy everything because that's how they get paid.

There was a section that completely surprised me about random facts about people in America. I was really surprised where NY and LI ranked.

Least Depression: Nassau-Suffolk counties, NY
Most Depression: Bakersfield, CA

Fewest Suicides: Nassau-Suffolk counties, NY
Most Suicides: Colorado Springs, CO

Fewest Rapes: New York, NY
Most Rapes: Little Rock, AR

Safest Roads: New York, NY
Most Dangerous Roads: Baton Rouge, LA

Does any of this information surprise you? It totally surprised me.

If I had to get a job besides being a professor, I would feel satisfied working for this magazine by getting their sociological, statistical information. I mean, there must be someone who does that. They have a lot of pages with random facts which must be extracted from sociological archives. This could be a fun way for me to reach out to people through the media, a way to constructively enlighten people, other than being a professor.

I wonder what this type of job would be called?

Barracuda.

Last night I went to a Fabulous gay bar with Jason. He does kareoke there every week cause his voice coach promotes it. When I got there, kareoke was just beginning with a lovely hostess in drag, who was absolutely beautiful. There were some really great singers up there and SO many people in the audience. There were so many gorgeous men with great style. It really made me wish I was a gay dude, just for one night lol. After a couple of drinks, which were well needed, I got up and sang some kareoke. I did 'papa don't preach' (the Kelly Osbourne version), 'take me or leave me', from rent (with this woman Ronnie, who has a marvelous voice), and 'a-tisket a-tasket, by Ella Fitzgerald. It was a lot of fun.

Afterward, I slept at Jason's new apt in Astoria. It was a nice area, but I don't think I could ever live there. I complain that Harlem is far away from everything, that is even further.

Awesome Workout.

Today at the gym I tried this bike that is like a video game. It was the coolest thing I have ever done to work out. I was DRENCHED in sweat by the time I was done.

It has...

-A whole bunch of satellite radio stations you can plug into while you ride.
-increasing and decreasing difficulty level, based on position on a hill.
-Internet to race against other live people whose scores were recorded.
-25 different gears.
-A lot of different tracks with different difficulty levels to choose from.

I am sure I will be bored with it in a month, but right now its the apple of my eye.

Bodies.

The 'Bodies Exhibit' made me dry heave a lot. I didn't expect to react the way I did. I mean, I knew what I was getting into, but it's much different when you see it face to face. The dead babies were the hardest.

I do feel like our capillaries look a lot like seaweed. Weird.

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas!

I have really been wanting to go ice skating lately, so I BBM'd Jason and he quickly obliged my idea. There is this new rink at The Museum of Natural History with a Huge lit up polar bear in the middle. We met up there, but unfortunately, the rink was closed for a private party.

So we decided to go to 30 Rock, to do some skating there. It was a mistake to think we could sashay through the massive crowds in times square during this time of year. We felt like cattle, it was ridiculous. We got to see the tree which was nice, minus the people pushing and the baby carriages that kept rolling over my feet. We didn't even get a glimpse of the ice rink. So we decided to just get coffee instead.

It was really nice to hang out with Jason. He is one of my good friends from way back. He just moved into an apartment in Astoria from Hell's Kitchen last week, and he's living solo for the first time, so we talked about that a lot. He does kareoke a lot. I think I wanna go do it next week.

After that holiday delight/mayhem I went back uptown to see Kate perform at the chapel at school. I got to sit with her family and bf who are just awesome people. The show was absolutely beautiful. I forgot how much I love classical music. Something so soothing and exciting about the intricate and complicated parts all coming together to produce a grandeur musical fabric of interwoven sounds. I closed my eyes for much of the performance as chills crawled up and down my back and arms. I can't wait to be a part of this chamber chorus next semester. It will help to fill the void that high school chorus has left me with. I will have to sing alto for once though, which is odd for me. However, I find it more challenging so I am up for it.

The concert ended around 10 and we walked outside and it was SNOWING! The first snow of the season. It was magical. Also, today was the first day that Columbia lit up the trees that line the main walkway. So that was absolutely gorgeous to walk through. Then we all went out to a diner and I went home.

I started reading 'The Shack' yesterday. I can see why my dad likes it so much. He is like Mack, Jean is like Nan, and i was like Missy. It is a really captivating book, however I just got up to the part where Mack meets 'God' or the 'Trinity' and its becoming more of a fictional story than a truth, but I will play along even though I think Mack may be having a psychotic episode. It sure sounds nice though, a trinity involving 2 women and no Caucasians. Young obviously did this to prove the point that 'God' is not the typical image of Dumbledore of Harry Potter or Gandalf of Lord of the Rings.

Regardless of the book's severely christian undertones, I am enjoying it and finding it hard to put down. It has been a while since I was able to read a book for pleasure rather than for purpose.

The Gym.

I went to the gym today. I know I know, I hate working out, but it feels nice once in a while. I wish I was the kind of person who could commit to it everyday for the rest of her life, but I am simply not. I get bored.

While sweating and huffing I ran into two girls that I know from class. It's always weird when you run into people you know when you and them are all sweaty and out of breath. I felt like saying 'don't look at me! You'll turn into stone!' but instead a smiled and said 'hey'. haha.

Manic Depression.

Last night I was supposed to go to a party, a really good party, with people I haven't seen in a while. I didn't go. I stayed home and watched TV and slept. I acted like I was sick when I wasn't. I just didn't feel like partying 2 nights in a row. And I am kind of depressed that I have nothing constructive to do. I know it's silly. I have just been eating a lot and being lazy. This has to stop. Ugh I am grossing myself out.

Afrotastic.

I was on the subway and this black woman had red curly white girl hair. I was a bit confused as to how she did that and wondered if it was a wig. Then I looked over at a few other African sisters, and their hair was straightened to assimilate white girl hair too.

I wonder if in the future when the race barriers are broken and the equilibrium between the races is raised, if Afros will be the new straight hair, and if we will all be teasing our hair every day instead of straightening it because that's what's in style.

Hair style can be seen as a social thing. But it can also be viewed as a convenience thing. I wonder.

Strand and Pickle Shots.

Shortly after I wrote that last post, I decided to go to Strand. Strand, for those of you who don't know, is a HUGE new, used and rare book store located a mere 2 blocks from union square. I had never been there before, but heard it had great prices on books and I knew of 8 classic novels I have to read for next semester, so I figured it was prime time.

I was like a fat kid in a candy shoppe. They had angelic music playing in the background, which added to my truly holy experience. Their slogan is that they have more than 8 miles of books. I don't know if they mean their store is that big or if you lined up all the books it would lay out to be 18 miles. Either way, it's impressive.

After that, I continued out to Brooklyn. Carrie and I hung around the apartment for a few hours with Nicole and Jen and a couple of her friends. We ordered food and watched bad tv, as per usual.

We went to sweet ups, then BCC, another usual plan. BCC was having a moustache party. So basically, me and Carrie walked into a room full of dudes with moustaches lol. They had a raffle give away and we befriended the winner before he won, so he got us drinks. Then some other friends came and bought us more drinks.

I tried this 'pickle shot' It is a shot of whiskey and then a shot of pickle juice. It was actually pretty good. I was super wary about it first, though.

Then Carrie and I pigged out and went to bed. I need to stop eating so much so late at night. It makes me feel like crap in the morning. I don't do it unless if I am drikning though, but does that make it right?

Donezo McPunzo.

Today was the last day I actually had to go to class. I still have 3 assignments due, but I have reasonable time to do them in. Everyone that I know is being boring tonight. I wish I had someone to go out with. I suppose I will just go to Brooklyn or something. Darn. I really want to celebrate.

In the Spirit.

Anyone wanna go Christmas sight seeing with me? We can get hot cocoa and chestnuts roasting on an open fire and go to stores where they make it snow inside. I'll even sing you Christmas carols on the subway!

Celebrate Good Times, Come On!

Last night I felt in the mood for celebration because of the aforementioned causes. After having a lovely dinner with my lovely mother, I came home to retrieve my fabulous new device and called a bunch of numbers in hopes that there was something homey I could do on a Tuesday night in the Huntington area.

Everyone was busy or far away or not going out. Then I remembered that Ashley works at the Tavern on Tuesday nights. Sara and I used to go there every Tuesday last semester. So I went by myself with $10 in my pocket, planning to get one drink then go home and hit the hay. I caught up with Ashley and met this guy who thinks I am smart and pretty and confident. We talked a lot, and he bought me a lot of drinks. I don't think I was wearing beer goggles, but you never know. He seemed really nice.

Then I came home and pigged out on Thanksgiving left overs. When I woke up this morning I felt like doodie. I guess I drank more than I should have. I really just want to watch movies today and not worry about this darn paper that I told myself I would work on. Hooray for cutting class today!

Scale.

As I was watching 'Meet Dave' the other day, I was wondering why things are the size or to the scale that they are. Like if we were much tinier, who is to say that the makeup of our landscape would be anything different. Of course, blades of grass would be ginormous, and trees would seem like monumental limbs. But from space or to a giant, its all really tiny. Just an interesting thought.

Random Acts of Kindness.

Today I performed a small random act of kindness. It felt really good, even though it was rather minuscule. I was in the computer lab and the computer across from me wasn't working. The girl who sat next to it was repeatedly telling hoards of people who came up to it that it doesn't work. Witnessing this whole thing, I felt really bad for the poor girl and her constant efforts to warn her fellow students of this malfunction. After hearing her say "it doesn't work" upwards of 25 times, I passed by the computer on the way out placing a note on the keyboard saying "let me ease some of your frustration". I walked out of the library thinking that I should do things like this more often.

On another happy note, 2 of my classes ended today. Of course I still have assignments to hand in for each. At least the 'going to class' part is over with. I will be cutting my lab tomorrow because I am on the lovely long island. That's right bitches. If I can find something fun to do tonight I will be spending the night.

Also, I was pretty psyched I caught a port jeff double-decker train.

Derek is fixing up my new blackberry as we speak! I am way elated!

SNOOGINS!

Blackberry!

I am excited. I am going to long island today after class to pick up my new blackberry! Thanks to my bro. Hooray!

Thin.

Ok, so I don't want to follow trends, or subject myself to stupid girly subordination, but living in the city has really made me notice that I need to lose weight.

I love eating and I know I am fine just the way I am. But I don't want to be 'just fine' anymore. Losing weight is so difficult, but I figure what the hell, why not give it another shot.

I have been noticing that all the boys I find myself attracted to are with, or were previously with skinnier girls. I know, I know. You're going to say 'Nicole, you have so much else going for you, your weight shouldn't matter, those boys don't know what they're missing'. Yeah yeah.

I really hate that gender roles are enforced by consumption. Men are allowed to eat so much more than women. Women are often devalued when they try to oppose this standard. I am so sick of it.

Consumption.

Why is it that we let what we consume define us? Shouldn't we be deeper than that?

Think about it. It works for foods and products. But I think it's more poignant with the foods. You are what you eat, in a cultural context.

The girl who eats a Turkey and Cheese Sandwich every day. The guy who eats a T-bone steak. The teenage girl who's forever sucking on a lollipop. The couple who drink champagne on a daily basis.

Eating is so temporal. Why is it that we define ourselves with something so insignificant to who we are?

Wine, Cheese and Hotdogs.

Yesterday I went to the library to work on a paper, but to my surprise, my phone broke and being that I am so gung ho about texting while working I had to come home and sulk about it.

Turns out I will quite possibly lose all my numbers.

Carrie invited me over for wine, cheese and teenie bopper TV/movies. We tried to watch 'The Great Yokai War', which is like a Japanese version of the Labyrinth. There are lots of interesting and crazy looking monsters and really good animation.



After downing a bottle of wine, I couldn't finish watching the movie. Carrie was hungry so we went out to eat. We talked about some pretty awesome/terrible old times and how much we have been through together. I love that bitch.

After Carrie was finished eating, Jon (friend and owner of BCC, one of our fave bars in Bushwick to go to) shows up outside the window with the most adorable baby dachshund. He lives above where we ate, so we went up and played with the puppy for a while. His name is Dr. Gustav Von Liebchen, which basically translates to Dr. Love.


After that we went out to Sweet ups and BCC for a quick drink in each then I went and slept in Carrie's bed.

Today is none other than another day filled with evading responsibilities. I keep distracting myself with anything and everything but my research paper. It's due on Friday and I have 13 of 25 pages written. That's OK right? This is the class I am actually getting graded on. I have no idea what I will get because my grade is solely dependent on this paper. This puts me under enormous amounts of stress, especially since all the research I have been finding is from 1980 and earlier. It's like COME ON! No one's done research on Norway since then?

UGH.

Oh P.S. I forgot how to tag pictures, but I found these two from the summer and they REALLY made me miss being tan and warm. I think I smile brighter in the summer, not just because I am tanner, but because its the happiest time of the year.

I Thought It Out.

Here is a link to the song I wrote a few weeks ago.

www.myspace.com/roguepretendstobeme

Spring Awakening.

Anyone want to go see it with me?

Typical Thanksgiving Post.

Thanksgiving is a day to give thanks. Originally, that thanks was given for togetherness and a panoply of foods, because of the great harvest that year. Miraculously, the meaning of this holiday has pretty much stayed the same over the years.

I only feel obliged to write a list of things that I am thankful for in a pretty decently accurate order.

+Family
+Friends
+Adorable Animals
+My Fabulous Education
+Good Health
+Music and Art
+That I Live in NYC
+My Good Humor
+Adderall
+My Height
+Wine

That about covers what I can think of at the moment.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hometown Blues.

Why is it that everyone hates where they came from? An abundance of major novels, movies and plays were written criticizing or to criticize one's origin. This seems like an ever-present enigma concurrent in many of today's media. I wonder why that is. Maybe its because it is only when we are comfortable enough with something to love it, are we comfortable enough to hate it. I know, for example, I can't really hate something/someone until I love it first. Even if that love is hidden. I mean, there are plenty of things I don't like. But in order to hate something, I think I must have really liked it first. Therefore, the only reason why professing hatred for one's hometown is so prevalent in the media is because we don't have a choice but to love where we came from, therefore we grow to hate it. Does this make any sense at all?

Highschool Math.

Last night I met up with Evan. We had highschool math together. I havent seen him in about 5 years. He moved to the W4th stop a month ago. It was nice to hang out with him and talk about people I havent thought about in a long time. Hooray for more friends in the city.

I cut a class today, but only to work on my paper and eat cheesy grits at Kitcheonette.

I just gave pika a shower because I kissed her all over the face with red lipstick. It made me laugh, but then when I showered her, it made her cry. Now she hates me. Thats what she gets for repeatedly pissing all over my bed.

Gripes.

You know what I don't like?

When guys ask for your number and act all interested. Then don't call. Why must they do that and play head games with me?

Welfare States.

Why must you be so boring to write about? Why did I pick such a boring paper topic? Why oh why?

This weekend made me less willing to work and more willing to spend time with people who mean something to me. I should enjoy my life right? Not that I don't enjoy school and writing papers, its just that I am in a really laborous part of the semester. I have been deprived of friend time for what seems like an eternity. I am totally exagerating. Hey, I am only 22. Why should I be so serious all the time?

I suppose the winter gives us time for detox of things that destroy our bodies. Time to stay indoors and read. Time to make our own fun. Which in my case, means time to dance around my apartment to Billie Holiday.

Last night was beautiful. We played board games and watched summer heights high. I love my friends. Summer heights high is amazing by the way. It's supposed to be like a documentary following around 3 people in an australian high school. But all three people are played by this hilarious comedian. Mr. G is my favorite haha. Enjoy!

Carrie's Home!

Last night I went out in Brooklyn with Carrie because she just got home from her week long family trip to Georgia. It was nice to see familiar faces and make new friends. I am really excited to move to BK.

On my way to BK, as the 1 train pulled up there was one car that was completely empty. I thought 'jackpot'! Then me and a few other people got on and realized this bum had totally reaked out the car. The smell wasn't even human. It was terrible.

Today=dirty Sunday. I evaded all school work to sit around with friends, watch movies and stuff my face. This is what the weekend and hangovers are for.

Dirty Jersey.

I just got home from Jersey. I really enjoyed spending time with Kate and her awesome family. Kate's dad is an awesome Piano player and last night he played a bunch of old jazz while I sang. I haven't gotten to "blow my pipes" like that for a while, it certainly was therapeutic. Everyone in Kate's family is really musical. Every year the have a Musicale, where they all play somgs and people from around the neighborhood come and listen. They said usually it brings in like 50 people. I am going to be in it this year.

This morning I went to a Bar Mitzvah to see Kate in action. She did a lovely job and made up a speech very eloquently about this boy who made no good impression on her whatsoever.

After temple, Kate and I went to Princeton. It is a gorgeous campus. It is like Columbia just much more old and spread out. Next we went to WaWa and I got my favorite diet peach iced tea! Then we went thrifting and made a killing.

Carrie comes home from vaca tonight so I think im gonna go to BK and get wrecked. I f-in deserve it. Tomorrow and Monday will be work-filled. I must party while I can. <3

Haha.

more animals

December.

I can't believe it starts next sunday.

It seems like I never can dress right around this time of year. Today I was way too hot and yesterday, too cold. I am excited for snow, but not for slipping on it.

I realized today that I haven't gotten more than 2 hours of sleep per night since monday. I am not functioning well.

I'm going to Jersey tomorrow with Kate to meet her family and hit up a temple on saturday. Kate is a canter. I am pretty excited to watch her do her thing. Needless to say, I am getting the hell out of this environment for a bit. I am sure I will get a great night's sleep there.

Mongolians.

I don't know what it is today. I keep seeing people on campus with huge heads. I don't mean people who think they are really smart, I mean literally; people with big ass heads. I wonder if the anthropological study done on cranial capacity can be assessed here. I mean, it just seems that there are an overwhelming amount of people with big heads here. But if a big skull means a big head, wouldn't elephants be smarter? True they never forget. Maybe it has to do with the proportion of the skull relating to the size of the body. Any thoughts?

L'Opera

Last night I went to see "La Damnation de Faust" at the Met with Crescencio. I have never been to the Opera before. It was a lovely experience. I became very intrigued with the story of Dr.Faustus by Christopher Marlowe while taking a theatre history course at Dowling and gave an excellent presentation on the topic. The story is a dramatic portrayal of an academic who wanted all the joys in life, and thus sold his soul to the devil for this world, and the love of his life Marguerite.

I didn't know the play was in French until I got there. But it was really interesting translating some of the lyrics.

Crescencio and I met up at Columbus Circle at 6:30. The lights were all up on the trees surrounding the monuments in the center. The main entrance of the mall was brightly lit with decorations. We entered for a minute and it was snowing foam snow flurries INSIDE! We stood there and marveled at the commercialized Christmas wonderland. And I made him go into Cole Haan with me. Nothing thrills me more than the smell of fresh Cole Haan Leather.

After that we decided to grab a bite and a couple of drinks before the show. Cres recommended a place that was really classy with rich mahogany moldings and that old money feel. It was way expensive, but we didn't want to damage our pride, so we stuck it out and got appetizers.

After an intriguing and exciting conversation about Crescencio's upcoming trip to Taiwan, we headed over to the Met. It was absolutely GORGEOUS! We felt like such classy shits speaking with our put on, smut, high society dialect. I really have a great time hanging out with him.

We go inside and each decide to get a glass of champagne to add to the effect. Then we proceeded to our seats, which were of course; in the nosebleed section. We had an excellent view of the stage, however.

The play was very relaxing and tranquil for the most part. The singing was beautiful, the costumes were superb, but the choreography left something to be desired. The stage was cut vertically into many equal sized boxes. Sometimes each box had the same scene as all the others. It gave us a lot to watch.

The backdrops were digital and forever changing. There were a lot of acrobatics, which I can't even begin to describe in full detail.

One poignant moment which I found interesting was at the end when Satan's servant (Mephistopheles) orders Faust to the underworld, the Chorus chimes in, in the underground section of the stage with flames dancing on their bare chests. (all men of course). I found this symbolic that men played the devil. I mean, we all are our own worst enemies after all.

Happiness vs. Money

Yesterday Kate and I were discussing why there must be separation between what makes you happy and what makes you a lot of money, career-wise. Both of us have aspirations to become professors. Though this is a low paying job, we believe it would be satisfactory and rewarding for us mentally. Of course, this separation between what job makes one happy and what job makes one acquire a lot of money is not different for everyone, but for many people; especially within the arts, this is so.

I was pondering this idea today and came across a solution with reference to Emile Durkheim's study on Suicide. Basically, this research bifurcates Protestants and Catholics with relation to their income (much like the research of Weber). The underlying belief Weber determines here is that the Protestant ethic gives one the incentive to make a lot of money because, richness in this life is believed to be God's way of showing you that you are worthy of a glorious afterlife (in some respects.) The Catholics, Weber depicts as having more moral asceticism in this world and thus less incentive to achieve high monetary value in this life.

This study was done a long time ago, and I am not assimilating it directly to cultures of modern society, however here is my valid point.

Durkheim, through a massive research assignment, finds out that the richer/protestant people commit suicide more often than their catholic/poorer counterparts. This he describes is a result from the Capitalist economy's approach to make us all want more and more commodities. What used to satisfy us does not anymore, and thus money is like an addiction. The accumulation of goods and services has lost its value in creating a better life, and thus spoils one into believing that he/she will never be satisfied.

The poorer/Catholic group has more societal limitations placed on them. They are restricted economically, therefore when they achieve something better than what they are used to, the happiness is greater and longer lasting. Therefore, they want to live more because there is so much in the world that they have yet to achieve.

This could go either way, of course, but a great amount of research has been done to prove this point.

Think of it this way, a kid who gets 100 presents at Christmas is less satisfied than a child who gets one (in most cases).

I believe this relates a lot to careers in that you should enjoy what you are doing because you never know when your time on this earth will be up. Also, the smaller things in life will mean more to you than having 5 cars and 3 beach houses. Of course, who doesn't want 5 cars and 3 beach houses? I sure do. However, I would be way happier doing what i believe I am supposed to do with my life, and having 1 car and renting one beach house for the summer.

Therefore, Kate, I would choose the career you love. If you are rich in happiness, the money doesn't/shouldn't matter so much.

<3 you bitch.

Hominy Grits.

They look like/taste like inflated pieces of corn. But what are they really? And hominy would you like?

For the Love of Ambien.

I had a very productive day. Work, work, work. I got fired from my job.It's cool I didnt want to get underpaid any more by her anyway. I went to this seminar about masters students who wish to go on into the PhD program. It was kind of interesting. Then kate and I got some dinner at cafe swish (yumm). Her relationship is going downhill cause they started dating too fast. It happens. It just sucks how you can get angry at the person when they are not appearing to be what you thought they were in the beginning.

After dinner, I went to the library and with kate and I saw 2 boys from my bar days at 1020. One of them was particularly fond of me. I brushed him of at first because he came on a little too strong, however now that its been some time I am thinking he may be an interesting person to hang out with.

I love ambien nights. I made a mix on my pod-so im listening to fabtunes. I cleaned my bathtub, did some reading for my class tomorrow, knitted, changed my sheets cuz of the cat AGAIN.

Whenever i stand up i dance in weird ways that i dont understand. I love it. I dont think ambien should be taken for sleep...one who really wants to sleep should take nyquil..that shit knocks you on your ass. Ambien should be used for nights- either solitare or with one other person who is in the same frame of mind. It could be fun. its like a mini trip that ends in a bed and a sassy slumber.

I took it during the day once by accided, but i also took my aderall. I had a french findal that day. I cant even begin to explain the form I was in. I was anxious but i was sedated, I was high strung, but i was seeing waves moving on powerpoint presentations.

whoooo. This drug is certainly being used in the wrong way. But i love it.

Goodnight...or maybe not.

Urinetown.

This morning I woke up to Pikachu peeing on my leg (on my bed by my leg). I was having dream that I was out with someone and they started crying a lot..and then I got really hot and angrily woke up.

I have a decision to make here. Her pee is all over the futon foam cover thing. If I take that off, there is a good chance that she will stop peeing on the bed. I believe she only continues to do so because she smells that she has done it before.

The only thing is, my bed will be way less comfortable without the foam cover.

I am in a bind.

I can has cheezburger?

moar funny pictures


moar funny pictures

Family Time.

I went to long island from Friday night until Sunday night. Friday night was spent watching Kath and Kim with my mom. That is so our show. If we were trashy Floridians, and a bit more dumb and self centered we could totally be them.

Saturday: Run of the mill, laborous activities necessary to sustain life.
Night: Game Night at Dani's (feeling really left out because I was the only one there not engaged or with husband). After, I went to Bayshore to meet up with some of my favorite bitches. For some reason I felt like all the guys in the bar were 5 ft. or shorter. I felt silly being there because not only did no one male look the slightest bit intrigueing, none of them were even at eye level with me.

One thing I really adore about Long Island, however, is that some people have no class/style. It makes me feel really good about myself. I am not saying that I am some sort of fashionista, but compared to some people; I am a fashion goddess!

My brother's birthday was/is today. Him and I went and spend a lovely day with my dad. We acted silly a whole lot. It was really nice to spend the day with them. It was also really nice to get my head out of books for a couple of days. I mean I still had to read, but it was nice to not worry about it.

My cat is a little piss machine. But she is so fucking cute. I don't know what to do with her. Thank heavens I will be sleeping in Crescencio's bed starting Jan 1st. (Hopefully!)

Dad,

To answer your question...

Both dyes and pigments appear to be colored because they absorb some wavelengths of light preferentially. In contrast with a dye, a pigment generally is insoluble, and has no affinity for the substrate. Some dyes can be precipitated with an inert salt to produce a lake pigment, and based on the salt used they could be aluminum lake, calcium lake or barium lake pigments.

Originally, dyes were obtained from animal, vegetable or mineral origin, with no or very little processing. By far the greatest source of dyes has been from the plant kingdom, notably roots, berries, bark, leaves and wood, but only a few have ever been used on a commercial scale.

Oh the wondorous lifetime lessons learned through wikipedia!

Dear Columbia/Morningside Heights...

I Hate You.
I know you accepted me.
But actions speak louder than words.

I don't feel smart, I feel stupid.
Stupid because I chose to overwork myself in order to achieve some stupid name.

I am not learning what I expected to learn.
I wanted to learn about theorists and sociology in the media.
I have been learning how to skim and pretend I know what's going on.
This is not how I wanted it.

I wanted to spend time on learning.
Not be rushed through the whole process.

I come to find that I am terribly unprepared.
I feel like there is some gap in my knowledge, where everyone else knows the history of the world but me. I am left here to fondle thoughts of what it could have been, when I really don't know.

The best students are the ones who fake everything.
I thought the best students would be the ones most willing to learn.

I am willing to learn, but I need it to be more personal.
I am a small fish in a big ocean.

Oh yeah, and Morningside heights. Fuck off. Stop trying to be something you're not. You are inconvenient, pretentious and lame.

You're student and resident,
Nicole

Never Good Enough.

I constantly get the feeling that I am not doing enough or that my reading or work or life potential isn't as good as every one else's. I am either on or I'm off. When I'm on I feel good and that my existence is awesome, I do a bunch of important and productive things in a day. When I am off, I feel like everyone else is on and life is meaningless and I spend the day (or most of the day) in bed. Maybe this feeling is a result of being human, in the human condition, or it's because I live in a city with so many overachievers, or maybe its the meds. Either I am on them or I am off them to produce these effects for the most part. Isn't it sad though, that I have reduced myself to someone who needs the meds in order to perform daily functions?

I don't know what to do or say about this paradoxical situation.

I need a vacation. I am going to Florida in January. I think I also want to take a trip up to Montreal in January as well. I went up there last January for 10 days and had a really good, really relaxing and fun time. Last January I remember finishing up sending out/filling out applications. What a stressful period that was.

I also really want to go to DSW shoe warehouse in Union square, Rockefeller center (After it gets all dolled up for the holidays), the MET and the museum of natural history.

My Life as Dorothy.

A History professor once told me that the story of the Wizard of Oz was a reference to America's growth. The ruby red slippers were originally silver, which symbolized the silver trade, the scarecrow early on in the movie represented the agricultural period, the tin man symbolized the industrial period, and I believe the cowardly lion was supposed to represent warfare ( I am not 100% sure about him though.) The emerald city represented money and the rise of capitalism, while I believe the Wizard was supposed to be Rockefeller or one of those big business moguls of the time.

While I think this is a wonderful analogy, and can see it making sense for the external representations of characters, my analysis goes much deeper than that. My recent excavations and choice to branch out on my own has lead me to really believe that 'there's no place like home'. I have been meeting people here who are brainless, heartless and courage-less. (Mostly the first two) I am on this wild search for wisdom and a eventual monetary security(echem the emerald city).


I was romanticizing this thought on the subway today and it made me really nostalgic. I know the fact that I am a cancer makes me yearn for qualities from the past like no other, so maybe this is just that part of me acting out. Or maybe it's because Saturn is opposite Uranus.

Partners?

I keep hearing this word being thrown around to mean boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, fiancee, etc. It's interesting how this term has become so popular. I think it must have something to do with the gay and lesbian population increasing their pubic rites. Now, instead of judging someone for being gay or straight, we keep it private. This must mean that people are becoming less concerned with others' sexuality. Thus, in general we are increasing our tolerance. Right?

Identity Theft and Credit Card Fraud.

I have had a terrifying day. I thought I was finding really good deals for apartments but really, I have sincere suspicions that I have been talking to scam artists. Luckily, I didn't give out enough information for them to steal my identity or create a credit account in my name (or so I believe).

It's a scary,sick and fucking twisted world we live in. You can't trust anybody. Especially in this city. I feel so naive and stupid for even entertaining the idea that these apartments could really be mine when in reality, it was all too good to be true.

I feel like today was a culmination of sorts. A lot of shitty things happened and in turn everything else went downstream.

"Mama said there'd be days like this, there'd be days like this my mama said."

I feel weary, tired, apathetic, stupid, lazy, and useless. There are so many things I should be doing, but instead I will knit and watch Entourage.

I don't want to look at another crags list apartment ad for as long as I live.

Forget all your troubles, forget all your cares and go DOWNTOWN!

I am showing the apartment to two people, so far today. I got seven responses since yesterday. I am hoping to rent to someone who I get along with, who I can trust, who has similar interests as me. I wouldn't mind making a friend while I am at it. This is a good business technique, cause if they like me they're less willing to fuck me. Call me prejudice, but I haven't been calling back the people with accents that I can't understand because this does not give me good business prospects. I am really excited to move downtown. This should be good.

I feel like I did the same thing when I went to Dowling. At first, I wanted to get a grasp on school and to focus on it to my full capacity, but now that I am getting the hang of school, I want to be away from it. I really enjoyed my 40 minute car ride to school every morning, it gave me time to adjust. Also, up here there is nothing to do. I could have guessed that I wouldn't be crazily popular with the Columbia crowd, enough to want to live all the way up here.

Anyway. I had a really weird dream last night, involving the nude beach and people that I used to go to church with. I was on a church trip, and we stumbled across a nude beach and I was the first one to take off my clothes and dive in. I got stuck in a current with some other nudies and was loving floating on the waves, but was a bit scared I would get to far away from the shore. The current finally ended and I swam back safely. I noticed, after I got out that only a few people in that area were naked, so I proceeded to put my clothes back on. Then I ran into the church crew and was trying to talk my old pastor into believing that nudists aren't sinful because they like to hang out naked. He wasn't budging on his belief because this is what he had been indoctrinated through his schooling and preaching throughout his life. I went back over to the nude side of things, and this one guy had this kickass trailer, bigger than I had ever seen before, it had multiple bedrooms, quite a few hang out rooms, a tanning bed room, and a deck for sun bathing. It was incredible.

Anyway, symbolically, I think the whole nude current represents this time in my life where I am having fun and being free, however the fact that the current ended and I wanted to put my clothes back on, made me think that the nudist thing wont last. Or that my being free and soaring on waves wont last. Either way, this dream was prophetic.

I have mad work to do today and I am meeting up with Brittany later (woohoo) cause she is taking a tour at Columbia.

Toodles my Noodles.

Blading and Brooklyn.

Yesterday I went roller blading at a rink in Jersey with Crescencio, Kristin and Anna. It was really fun and good exercise. I miss going to United Skates as a kid for birthday parties.

We chowed down on Wendy's before hand in Staten Island. I haven't had Wendy's in forever. I had never been to Staten Island before. I can't believe it's so close to NYC and SO different. And there are rampant turkeys everywhere...like in South Park.

After blading, Crescencio and I got a bottle of champagne and some booze. We watched Hysterical Blindness and went out. I got silly. I haven't been drunk in a while so I thought I should, just for good measure. However, when I woke up this morning I wondered why I do this to myself. Why is it that forgetting shit and making an ass out of myself 'helps' relieve stress?

I hate it when creepy people talk to me on th subway. Its like they think of the dumbest comments just so they can talk to me...I mean I know I am really cool and all, but COME ON!

(As I am reading a book by a French author for Sociological Theory class)
creepy guy #1: Is that book French? Is it in French?

Me: No

him: But look (points to the author's name on the spine)

Me: The author is French but the book is not.

him: Is it History?

Me: No, It's Sociology.

-----------------------------------------------------

Creepy guy #2: Do you have a dog?

Me: No

him: What's this? ::points to cat hair that's on my bag::

Me: (here's the point where i should have said-NONE OF YOUR GODDAMNED BUSINESS) Cat hair.

him: Oh same thing.

------------------------

This is for Crescencio:

Woman who hates her life on loudspeaker at roller rink/Eeyore:"Everyone leave the rink, there is a private party at 5. Screw cleaning up, the partie's aready here."

Jersey broads: "Could you hold my hairspray?" "You didn't get the travel size yet?"

Overworked and Underpaid.

Tonight I worked a sabbath day dinner party at Paula's. I was supposed to watch 4-5 children, serve dinner, and wash dishes. Between teaching the boys how to play battleship, painting the girls nails and being the ref in the boys vs. girls soccer game I barely got a chance to sit still and enjoy dinner.

I worked for 5 hours and made $70. I am angry and beginning to agree with what everyone says about Jews being cheap. I need to talk to Paula because this is not right.

I understand why students are so happy underneath their studies. It's because they don't have to get raped with low paying jobs.

It wont be long now till I am professor Andersen. I can't fucking wait. All I want to do is drink a couple of 40 oz. and writhe in my room. But I wont. I will read Distincton: A Social Critique of the Judgment of Taste By Pierre Bourdieu, Brush/Cuddle with my cat, Watch Clerks II and knit my sweater. Next night I plan on getting so drunk i fall down or vomit...or fall down in my own vomit.

I'm Moving.

Ok. Three strikes and your out.

1) The power went out for a week and a half.

2) A guy jerks off outside my window.

3) There is a leak that keeps happening under the heater, and I'm afraid of electrocution/water damage to my computer. (not to mention its a bummer to keep cleaning up)

FUCK THIS APARTMENT!

I am looking to give my broker/landlord two months notice on the 9th or 10th because that is when my lease started.

I plan to move downtown after this semester ends. (I.E. Between Dec. 26 and Jan. 10th-depending on when i go to Fla.)

Ugh. I am so fed up with this bullshit.

Doing Everything but Accomplishing Nothing.

1) Since I brought my guitar into the city on Sunday, I have been writing songs a bit. I went to Kate's on Wednesday to hang and I played her my songs. When I played her the first one I wrote, she insisted that she record it. Therefore, soon I will have it posted on here. It's actually about this guy I previously mentioned from craigslist. He was txting me and annoying me while I was playing, so the song turned out to be about him haha. I really like the other song that I wrote. It needs a bit of practice because there is a bit of finger picking. Thats right, I gave up on the pick once and for all, so now you can actually hear me sing.

2) Also on Wednesday, Pikachu peed on my bed/pillow! I yelled at her and changed my sheets. Not that yelling her did anything, but I sent her mental images of me being mad and her peeing on the bed. Later on that night, she pees AGAIN in the same spot! I got mad and gave her a shower as punishment. Then I thought about it for a while, and I got her new litter recently. Maybe she doesn't like peeing on it? So I mixed it with the old stuff, and now we're all good (I hope).

Other than that spout of bitchiness, Pika has been very adorable, waking me up with whiskers in my face and Eskimo kisses.

3) I handed in my paper yesterday that I have been talking about. I am really nervous, even though it is a pass/fail class. We got assigned 600 paged to read for my theory class this week. I just laugh. I have no idea how to approach this, or what sections to leave out.

I was really awesome in class yesterday, at least I think so. Ok, at Dowling, I used to be the kind of student who would always speak her mind in class and was always the leader, if not, one of the leaders of class discussion. Since I've come to Columbia, I have tried a bit to be my old self, but found myself making somewhat irrelevant points and sometimes being laughed at (not really at...more with...but I felt like these really smart people were secretly thinking in the back of their minds "what a moron"). At Dowling, when people would laugh it me, I felt like they were all really happy that I was in class to lighten the mood and make learning less serious. Needless to say, I LOVE Columbia, but I can;t picture myself working at a big institutions. Too many ego's would get in the way of a good lecture.

Back to my point. I asked two questions/made two points in class that were really relevant and made great sense. Nobody laughed, and I felt that was some sort of accomplishment. :)

4) Last night was my first knitting class. I picked out a pattern for a really cute "go everywhere" cardigan. I am making it in black with this really pretty blended red mohair trim. I am using the smallest sticks I have ever used before (meaning the stitches will be really tiny, thus it will take more stitches to occupy the same amount of space that normally one stitch does). I am supposed to complete the back of the sweater this week. That means I have to stitch about 4 inches a day. That means about 4 hours a day. I need to learn to knit and read at the same time.

There are three other people in my class. Two of which I believe are teachers and the other one is this little girl who is probably around 10-12. This yarn store is awesome. There are 2 knitting sections, one upstairs and one downstairs. There were college age girls knitting upstairs and drinking sangria during the time my class was going on.

5) After my knit lesson, my friend Mariel (who I know from high school, who goes to Columbia Teachers College) invited me to come to this Grad student TC thing at Havanna Central. I stopped by there on my way home from knitting, had a couple of beers and came home. Knitted, watched Penelope, then went to bed.

Obama. A Terrorist and a Racist.

Below are a few lines from Obama's books; In his words!

From Dreams of My Father: 'I ceased to advertise my mother's race at the age of 12 or 13, when I began to suspect that by doing so I was ingratiating myself to whites.'

From Dreams of My Father : 'I found a solace in nursing a pervasive sense of grievance and animosity against my mother's race.'

From Dreams of My Father: 'There was something about him that made me wary, a little too sure of himself, maybe. And white.'

From Dreams of My Father: 'It remained necessary to prove which side you were on, to show your loyalty to the black masses, to strike out and name names.'

From Dreams of My Father: 'I never emulate white men and brown men whose fates didn't speak to my own. It was into my father's image, the black man, son of Africa , that I'd packed all the attributes I sought in myself , the attributes of Martin and Malcolm, DuBois and Mandela.'

And FINALLY the Most Damming one of ALL of them!!!

From Audacity of Hope: 'I will stand with the Muslims should the political winds shift in an ugly direction.'

Ugh. Obama.

I am appalled at America right now. I knew this was coming, but somehow I still had hope that McCain would win. All day I have seen people wearing Obama T-shirts and pins. Quite honestly the pin wearing has been consistent for a while now. I expected New York to come up as a blue state, but I still voted oppositionally.

Today, while entering the voting chamber, I thought of it as a pivotal moment in American history. There was still hope for the future and I was proud to push the levers and make my voice heard.

Now I feel hopeless and ashamed. When looking at the overwhelming blue states on the map, I feel like everyone has succumbed to charismatic false promises and advertisements. Obama's campaign was so strong that people couldn't look the other way. So many young voters took a stand because this was the first time a black man (or half black man) was nominated to be president. Of course this stands out in our culture. Even Tupac said "We have yet to see a black president" well, he is probably rolling over in his grave right now.

The thing that bugs me most of all is all the people screaming for joy out in the streets. I am just waiting for those damn Muslims to bomb another American monument. I am honestly frightened for the future. Call me old fashioned, but I am terrified.

Even tonight, when Carrie called me to tell me to come out and celebrate Obama's winning I got really angry. Even my own friends have succumbed to the mental slavery that results from a good campaign. I feel like I am all alone. They are all like sheep. Fuck America. I want to move to Canada ASAP.

Loldogs.

see more puppies



see more puppies

Give and hour, get an hour.

Saturday night I went to Sara's Halloween party. It was fun to see some old familiar faces. It was funner to see the fight that went down.

Best costume award goes to Greg, who was dressed as a Hi-C juice box. He said the costume came to him in a dream, which is even better.

Sunday I went back into the city with mom. We got some delicious vegetarian dinner at Hummus Place and then went to see Fuerabrutza. It was a really exciting show. Like moving modern art. It had some pretty strong messages which I liked.

Basically, what I got out of it was that we are constantly moving and nothing is permanent. Shit happens. Work is boring and pointless and everyone just wants to dance. It is more fun to break down walls, especially when those walls have confetti inside and you can dance in it as it falls on you.

Another idea conveyed was that dreams are sacred. Everyone can be happy in dreams, but can't always be happy in real life.

The coolest part of the show was the huge piece of clear vinyl that covered the audience that had the likes of a pool on top of it. It had anywhere from 1 to 4 girls swimming and playing on it. At certain points the "pool" would lower and we could touch it. I really wish it was my job to swim in a pool like that.

The worst part about the show was the pain in my neck from looking up a lot. However, I liked how the audience had to move around the room during the show and that there were volunteers, it made it more interactive.

Today was spent writing a kick ass draft for a paper due on Thursday. It really made me like writing again. I fell off the paper writing wagon recently because I was taking so many art classes that didn't require term papers. This paper is about the de-secularization of society because or from the media (movies, TV, music and the commercialization of Christmas) with reference to Weber and Durkheim. It really made me want to write a book with Kate about Religion, Gender and the Media. I think we could totally pull it off and have Columbia publish it.

Anyway, tomorrow is elections. I am SO happy this messy campaign is almost over. I think I want to watch it on TV tomorrow after I vote, just to get it out of my system once and for all.