Dear Columbia/Morningside Heights...

I Hate You.
I know you accepted me.
But actions speak louder than words.

I don't feel smart, I feel stupid.
Stupid because I chose to overwork myself in order to achieve some stupid name.

I am not learning what I expected to learn.
I wanted to learn about theorists and sociology in the media.
I have been learning how to skim and pretend I know what's going on.
This is not how I wanted it.

I wanted to spend time on learning.
Not be rushed through the whole process.

I come to find that I am terribly unprepared.
I feel like there is some gap in my knowledge, where everyone else knows the history of the world but me. I am left here to fondle thoughts of what it could have been, when I really don't know.

The best students are the ones who fake everything.
I thought the best students would be the ones most willing to learn.

I am willing to learn, but I need it to be more personal.
I am a small fish in a big ocean.

Oh yeah, and Morningside heights. Fuck off. Stop trying to be something you're not. You are inconvenient, pretentious and lame.

You're student and resident,
Nicole