Boycotting and Purging

Monday was a late beach day. I met up with Eddie, Nicole and Matt. The only problem was, due to the hurricane, our beach wasn't letting people in until the tide came lower. The four of us went to field 2 and made our own nude beach...behind some windscreens of course. There was a guy who was naked right near us, and he got caught by the cops. We hung out there until we didn't anymore, then we finally got into field 5. We were finally home. I hung out for a few hours, after 4. Blair told me he was going to get off his flight around 4, so I was anxiously awaiting his call. He was a little slow to get to me, which is to be expected. I decided to go out for sushi with my beach friends because we had such a rough day trying to boycott public nudity laws and regulations. I got super drunk. I picked up Blair at the train station and totally let him know my feelings and that he hurt me all summer, and that I felt like I was waiting around for him all summer. I cried like a baby. It turns out he didn't break up with K and they are still in the same relationship they were in 6 months ago. I am not going to waste any more time waiting for him to break up with her/be ready/treat me like I should be treated. It hurts so much that I have to let him go because I really really liked him.

After my blowout, I really didn't even want him to be here anymore. It just hurt. I am glad that I was intoxicated, because I was never really able to tell him how I truly felt about the situation, it was always taboo. You would think that after 6 months I would have opened up more. I feel like crap and every song I listen to reminds me of him.