Identity Crisis.

Ok. So i have been recently asking myself "What am I doing here?" Don't get me wrong. I have gotten more than i could ever ask for; a stable income, the opportunity to grow in the area that I want to, a great flat, some great friends...but I just had a meeting with one of my potential advisers who asked me why I want to study what I want to study and I had a hard time answering. I guess I never really thought about it. DTCA have always gotten me riled up because they play a personal role in my life, but there is something deeper that I haven't quite figured out. Everything seems so black and white - big pharma=bad, doctors=good. He asked me if maybe I would be better off studying my topic in pharmacy or media studies. I feel as if my whole adult life I have strived toward being a sociologist. It has always been the one thing I am sure that I will want to do forever. Lately, I have felt inadequate and out of place. I feel as if I am trying so hard to collect, interpret and digest data, just to have my topic changed to find more information to collect and interpret, to just go back to the first stuff I had originally thought I would use. Its like waking up and trying on 10 outfits before realizing not even the first one was alright. On top of all this, I need a creative outlet. I don't feel much like myself. I am buying a guitar next week/maybe tomorrow. that should help. I am starting to think that if I study media, I am better off doing it in the good ol' USA, or at least canada. Part of me wants to change my topic entirely. Or maybe I need to take some time off from applying for a PhD and teach at Briarcliffe and Dowling. At least I know I can do those things and I felt like I was growing a lot as a teacher there. I just feel like I want to study something else, maybe. Maybe this whole DTC thing should just be dropped and I should come up with something less interesting to soak my brain in. Maybe this is just a whole learning process. Maybe i should just accept defeat and move on. I really just don't know anymore.